Grandmother

I’m walking around inside an arena, along a racing track or something. The track is covered with yellow sand, the sun is shining bright. At some point I meet up with my girlfriend. We walk and talk for a bit, then suddenly I get a message on my mobile, from my father. It’s a voice message. He tells me that my mother’s mother, my grandmother, is dead. He then goes on telling me it is utterly important that I do not tell my mother about it. I can’t understand, I get very sad and upset, but I promise him I won’t tell.

My girlfriend takes me with her into a small passageway underneath the tiers of seats. At the other end we meet one of her friends, a blonde with exaggeratedly painted eyelashes and striking blue eyes. We stand there talking to her for a bit, then we sit down at a long table. A bunch of kids are sitting there too, playing, laughing, drawing and making childish conversation. Some play with clay, and some play instruments. I ask the blonde if she works here, but she says she doesn’t - she just likes to stay here and play with the kids.

Over at the other end of the table, next to the wall, a weird, slenderly built horse is standing, gobbling away at some hay. It’s head is ridiculously small, and it resembles the head of an ostrich more than the head of a horse - but still it’s a horse’s head. We walk over to take a closer look at it. The closer we get, the thinner the horse seem to us. As we reach it, it turns to my girlfriend and sort of whispers in her ear, without making a sound, that my mother’s mother is dead. My girlfriend looks at me, amazed. We agree that this is proof that my father was telling the truth.

Some distance away, we hear sirens. There seems to be something happening in the heart of the city. We decide to go see what it is - a moment later we’re there; we never left and we never took one single step.

The city is not really a city - it’s actually my home town up north, but it’s a neon version - it’s dark, the asphalt and concrete is black, neon lights and giant boards flash it’s cold, blueish light all over the place. A long procession of cars slowly crawl along the main street, they’re all covered by funeral wreaths and other flower arrangements. There’s music in the air, some kind of noisy parade music. It’s all very surreal.

A car passes in front of me, and I recognize my brother by the wheel. He calls to me through the noise. At first I can’t make out his words, but after a while I understand - he’s complaining. He’s actually blaming me for not telling him about the death of my grandmother. I try to explain to him what our father told me, but it’s impossible through the noise. I turn to my girlfriend because I want to tell her I want to leave, but she’s not there. I try thinking about the horse, the race track and the blonde, as if it would make me disappear from this place and just go back there, but it doesn’t work.

I wake up.