The switch

As usual, some dream I can’t remember the details of led up to the point where this dream «starts», which is on a sunny hill or slope. In the middle of this there’s a race track. It’s a short and simple track, perfect black tarmac covers it, and the sun is gleaming off of the shiny metal on a handful of sports cars driving randomly around it.

Me and my girlfriend are a team. We have hired a mechanic. We don’t yet have a car, and there’s a race about to start so we’re a bit anxious, but the mechanic says not to worry. He says he’s ordered in a very special car that will make us win. So we’re standing in the pit waiting.

As I look out across the hill and the track beneath us, I realize that it’s all computer graphics. The whole things is a console game, oldschool, pixel perfect and colorful. In a glimpse I even get to see the old coin-up machine from outside, with steering wheel and pedal controls system and all. This makes me very excited.

The special car arrives. It’s wrapped up in paper and cloth, tied up with ropes and heavy knots. The mechanic tells us that because it’s such a special car, no-one must know how it looks until he has done some minor adjustments to it. Revealing it to the rest of the contestants, not to mention the audience, will have catastrophic consequences. So we have to come up with a plan to distract everyone else while the mechanic does the necessary adjustments on the car.

The plan we come up with is this:

I’m going to dress up like a woman.

My girlfriend suddenly produces a blonde, long-hair wig, a beautiful white dress, high-heel shoes and jewelry. She puts me in a chair with a mirror in front of it, and starts transforming me. During this process I lose my beard, actually without anyone ever touching a razor. The wig fits perfectly, I get an amazing makeup, I grow boobs from out of nowhere, and suddenly I’m a woman. It feels great.

My girlfriend, though I don’t know exactly why, has decided to become a man. This wasn’t part of the plan, but both me and the mechanic go with it. When I speak, I still have my own voice, but the makeover is so stunning that people don’t seem to notice. Walking like a woman is a bit tricky, but I seem to manage well. People look at me and our mechanic goes to work unnoticed.

After a while there’s a guy approaching me. I recognize him as one of our national TV-stars, running a show where people who have become separated from their family or loved ones, get to see them again thanks to his research and tireless efforts (sic). He’s got a serious look on his face. He tells me that he’s uncovered the scam, that he’s very disappointed and that we may be disqualified because of this. He still doesn’t know about the car, though - the thing he has uncovered is only the fact that I’m not a woman. I ask him how he could know. He points to my legs and says: «You forgot stockings» - and indeed he’s right; my hairy legs can easily be spotted thru the thin, light fabric of the dress.

I wake up.